Lessons Learned After 5 Years Living Abroad In Canada

Five years ago, on May 9, 2016, I embarked on an adventure. I stepped onto a plane at Manchester airport in the UK, with 3 suitcases and Lily Bear, my tortie cat and flew to Vancouver. British Columbia for a fresh start.

With some savings in the bank, no home except a temporary airbnb in Kitsilano, and no job or professional network, my new life in a foreign country began.

It was the scariest, boldest, most exciting thing I have ever done in my life. But what scared me far more was the deep regret that I would have felt if I hadn’t made this huge life change. I knew that what I was scared to do was what I had to do.

If I had listened to all my fears and stayed in England, I would have always wondered ‘what if’ and I didn’t want to be an old lady in her rocking chair one day with nothing but regrets.

I have always been a heart over head kind of girl. My head will be telling me run girl run don’t do it but my heart will tell me to do it anyway. After my parents passed away in 2011, my heart was leading me to Vancouver.

Lessons From Living Abroad

Living in Canada as a British Expat for the last 5 years has been both amazing and challenging. I have had some of the best times of my life here, and I have memories with friends and special people in my life that I will treasure forever. But I have also been through some really tough times here; some of the most difficult times of my life so it hasn’t been a walk in the park or a happy ever after.

I don’t know what the future holds for me in Vancouver…or Canada, but whatever happens I have definitely learnt a few things in the last 5 years.

Your Past Will Follow You

One of my big why’s for moving overseas was to start again. I wanted a new life in a new place.

Living overseas has changed me in many ways but fundamentally I am still me, I still have many of my old hangups and everything from my past hasn’t magically erased because I am in a different country.

I am still working through various things including the loss of my parents, just in Canada rather than England.

Expect The Unexpected

When you live overseas you have to go with the flow. You will need a lot of patience and flexibility to stay sane and make it work because so many things will be different.

No joke, everything just takes longer here. Most things are done differently…sometimes archaically here (hello cheques and no booze in supermarkets) and I quickly learnt that everything from opening a bank account to the job market to bar and restaurant service is slower. A lot slower. For instance most shops open later and shut earlier in Canada, you will probably have to go to multiple stores for food, booze, toiletries etc and ordering a drink or food from the bar when you go out is a novelty.

You Have To Grow A Thick Skin

When I first moved to Vancouver I was naive in thinking that everyone would be friendly and welcoming because I was British. I know it was a bit arrogant and clueless of me really. I had just always had such a warm welcome from Canadians in the past…but that was as a temporary tourist not an immigrant.

When I arrived in Vancouver to live here rather than just visit it was a very different experience. At times it honestly felt like everyone and everything was against me. Some people were just down right rude to me, and made it clear they did not like British people. There were also some unexpected minor language barriers due to my strong accent when I first arrived, and making local friends was hard.

The fact is that not everyone is friendly, and not everyone is happy to see more immigrants and visitors. I was told no for housing and jobs numerous times because I wasn’t a local or even Canadian. It was extremely disheartening and on top of that I kept feeling like I needed a translator. Five years on I still have issues communicating at times even with Canadians I am extremely close to.e

Most people have been polite and friendly though so it has been more positive than negative. I just learnt to have a thick skin very quickly for the sake of my mental health and sanity.

It Will Be More Challenging Than You Expected

I knew that moving overseas would be a challenge. I also knew that I was moving to an expensive and competitive city. I just had no idea how tough it would be at times or how much it would test my resilience.

The first few weeks, I was in a dreadful airbnb and facing sleeping on a mates floor because, as I mentioned before, no-one would rent to me..till I got lucky and found a landlord who was newcomer friendly.

On the career front, there has been major rough patches. From applying for 100’s of jobs in my field and getting no response or rejections, to almost a year of unemployment, and then being under-employed, I basically said goodbye to the marketing career I knew and loved in the UK when I moved here.

It has basically been a constant rollercoaster of highs and lows in all aspects of my life that I didn’t expect. But ultimately shit happens and you will have to just push through it. The hardships and dramas now will make for entertaining stories in the future when you can look back and laugh about them.

You Will Need Local Support Systems

Hands down the smartest things I have done in the last five years has been putting a lot of time and energy into meeting people, making friends and building support systems.

In my first few months, I went out constantly to make friends. It was really uncomfortable, a bit exhausting at times and expensive but it was necessary to make friends.

I joined the BC Chapter of the International Association of Business Communicators to meet professionals in my field and got involved with two main Facebook groups to make friends; Girl Crew and Brits in Vancouver.

I have Canadians that I am close to and they are awesome but having like-minded British expats to share stories, banter and experiences with has been priceless.

The fact is that you will have to step out of your comfort zone on a regular basis if you move abroad. You will be very lonely if you don’t. So join networking groups, go to events on your own and say yes to the social invites you get.

You Will Need More Money Than You Think

The amount of money you will need for a move overseas will vary depending on where you are moving to, but the likelihood is that you will need more money than you think. So whatever you have budgeted for your new adventure, double it or triple it if you can because there will be so many additional expenses that you may not expect.

I used guidance provided by newcomer resources to estimate how much money to save. I basically calculated a rough monthly budget for rent, food and treats based on cost of living for Vancouver and then just multiplied it by about 5 on the assumption that I would find work quickly.

I should have saved a lot harder. In reality, once in Vancouver, there was no way I could go 5 or 6 months without a job. I had barely landed in Vancouver and I was hit with unexpected vet bills that I hadn’t considered. There was also rent deposits, furniture and household items purchases and socialising expenses that I just hadn’t correctly budgeted for.

Basically you just need to assume that everything will cost more than you expect it to, and if you don’t have a job lined up assume that it could take you up to 6–12 months to get work.

You Will Get Sad At Least Once or Twice

There will be times when you have a meltdown thinking ‘what have I done’…I had one of mine on a park bench in the West End after yet another rejection for an apartment.

You will get homesick, miss friends and family and experience a lot of FOMO. Culture shock will be also be a thing because things will be different regardless of what country you move to. It is all totally normal. You are starting a new life in a foreign country after all.

Leaving everyone and everything you know behind isn’t easy and some days you will be sad and that is okay. It is ok to not be ok sometimes. I have learnt to allow myself to sit in those feelings but not dwell in them by reflecting on why I left and things I have gained (no matter how small) since arriving in Canada. Try it and you will go from feeling really down to really proud of yourself pretty quickly.

Living Abroad Isn’t A Vacation

Once I landed a full time job, I started falling into regular routines, just like I had in the UK. So all the things I want to see and do don’t fit into a day. Living in Vancouver is also expensive so it just isn’t possible to go everywhere and do everything in the same way that you can when you are on vacation.

The reality is that living overseas at times can be a bit of a battle between vacation life and real life especially in your early months in a new place. Take your time to explore and find balance between exploring and real life stuff.

You Won’t Feel Like A Tourist

When I first arrived, I was so excited to be in Vancouver. When I wasn’t tirelessly looking for work and a new home or running errands I saw as much of Vancouver as I could. I hit up a lot of tourist spots and did days out to different places.

But I never really felt like a tourist and as I started to adjust to my new surroundings I felt more connected to my new foreign home. As I began to feel more comfortable, I also found that people started mistaking me for a local so I would be asked for directions or tips on where to eat or what to see.

And in the high tourist season periods when my favourite spots are rammed I tend to avoid or jovially complain about there being so many tourists about.

You Won’t Feel Like A local Either

I thought that after a few years in Canada I would start to feel like a local, but after five years in Vancouver that hasn’t really happened.

I feel pretty settled and I have built a life here but I still don’t feel like a local most of the time. Although I have slowly blended into the local culture, events and traditions, I also still go to tourist spots, use google maps, take photos of things that locals don’t even glance at. and stare in awe at the mountains every single time.

Learn As much As You Can About Your New Home

Before and after arriving, learning as much as you can about your new home will really help you to get settled in.

I did a lot of research before I came to Vancouver, and I am so glad I did. Although it hasn’t always been as I had expected and not everything I read beforehand was accurate, it really helped me to immerse myself.

Like I mentioned before a lot of things have been different but by educating myself and embracing the differences even when they sucked, life has been easier.

So find out as much as you can about the place you are moving to; the people, the culture, the food, the majority religion, the laws, the job market, housing, and daily life. Try and embrace all those differences without comparing it to what you know as it will be harder to integrate and settle in your new home if you don’t.

Make Your House A Home

Whether you have a bedroom in a big shared house, have a flat mate or an apartment all to yourself, make it a home.

Regardless of whether it’s a temporary or permanent home, I encourage you to decorate it, put pictures up, buy useful appliances and cosy cushions. It will make a world of difference.

Reverse Culture Shock Is A Thing

Visiting home will feel strange because you have changed, and you’ve been away for a while. Your loved ones will wonder why you can’t navigate places you lived in your whole life, or why you are speaking differently or forgetting things.

There is a pretty famous expats quote that says ‘So here you are. Too foreign for home; too foreign for here. Never enough for both’.

That is basically how you will feel from now on. It’s been one of my struggles; that feeling of not being sure if I actually belong in England or Canada. Ultimately though I think it is just a daily choice and I have chosen Canada…at least for now.