How To Deal with Homesickness While Abroad

While you are travelling, especially if you do it alone as I did, it’s easy to experience homesickness while abroad. There are so many things that you might miss like your family and friends or just the familiarity of living in the same place for a long time.

Whether you are taking a short trip overseas, or making a new start for yourself in a foreign place, it can be hard to adjust, but there are many ways that you can cope with this feeling — and even get rid of it entirely!

I’ve written this guide to help you deal with homesickness, and enjoy your time abroad. These are all strategies that have helped me over the years as a solo traveller, and living overseas permanently. I hope that they will be helpful to you too.

What Is Homesickness?

If you have this is your first time away from home or travelling alone, you may have never experienced homesickness before.

Feeling homesick is very common, totally normal, and happens to all of us at least once in our lives, especially for those of us who travel a lot. It’s feelings of sadness, anxiety, or loneliness when you miss home, and it’s a natural reaction to change in any aspect of your life like being overseas or making a move to a new city.

What Causes Homesickness?

Usually, it’s caused by experiencing unfamiliar environments and missing the familiarity of the home which is why even the most seasoned traveller can experience it. It can strike us all of a sudden for no apparent reason, but I’ve found that it’s triggered by things like differences in culture, food, and customs.

In my early days of living overseas, I would get pangs of homesickness when I suddenly missed British food, or encountered a challenge with the culture of my new home. At times it was the stupidest, smallest things that would make me miss England.

Fear Of Missing Out

Pangs of FOMO can hit a lot when you are abroad, especially when you’ve been away from friends and family for a while and events are happening back home that you can’t go to.

You will have times when you wonder what you are missing out on back home. You might also start feeling that the people around you don’t understand how much your culture has shaped who you are.

Maybe you just start missing everyday things like how easy it was to go home after work to see your family, or how close all of your friends were growing up. When loved ones live in different places, there isn’t always someone around when things get tough.

Whatever it is that makes you feel homesick, just know that it won’t last forever.

Symptoms Of Homesickness

If you think you might be feeling homesick, the symptoms can range from mild to severe. In some instances, the feeling of homesickness may even be so bad that you have to return home for a while until the feeling passes.

If you are struggling, but not sure if homesickness is the cause, here are some of the common symptoms that you might be experiencing:

• You want to spend time with family and friends.
• You feel sad and/or depressed.
• You feel lonely and/or isolated.
• You feel anxious or nervous about being away from home/the familiar environment (e.g., friends) where you grew up/grew up in

First You Need To Recognize & Acknowledge Your Feelings

Just because living abroad is the best thing you’ve ever done it doesn’t mean you will always feel good about it. So, I’ve found that a really helpful way to deal with homesickness is to recognize and acknowledge your feelings. This is where self-reflection comes in, and journaling or meditating can really help with this. If journaling isn’t your thing or you find meditating tough, just going for walks or getting creative will help you to reflect.

Just take some time to write or think about why you feel homesick and allow yourself to have those negative feelings. Remind yourself often that there is nothing wrong with the way you are feeling.

Reasons you are feeling down could be:

• Loneliness
• Missing friends and family
• Stress or anxiety
• The time of year — Christmas always caused the most homesickness for me

Remind Yourself Of Why You Left Home To Travel

Remember why you embarked on this trip overseas in the first place.

When you were planning it, you had goals and dreams. You were excited about finally ticking someplace off your bucket list or experiencing life overseas.

Think about that feeling which compelled you to leave home. Channel how you felt at that moment. Even if the magic is somewhat broken by the current situation or your expectations weren’t met, try to return to that person who bravely left home. How did you feel, and what were you looking for?

Talk It Out With Yourself

You may have already heard that journaling really helps with working through feelings because it really does.

When we write (or type) our situation out, it forces us to think about it thoroughly — and often different. It also takes our attention away from our negative thoughts consuming us by doing something.

Here are some journal prompts to get you started:

• How am I feeling right now?
• What was I doing when I started feeling really sad or missing home?
• What do I love about (where you are)?
• What am I learning right now?
• How will this trip influence future travel I do?
• What has been my favourite travel experience during this trip?
• Write a bucket list of things to do in your current location

Get Rid Of Any Guilt You Feel

Guilt will get you every time, and it will eat you up inside if you let it.

You might start feeling guilty for a number of reasons such as:

• Leaving people you care about behind,
• Not being there for loved ones with XYZ
• Missing important events for family and friends
• Not being able to talk to loved ones at regular times in the same way you could back home because of the time difference.
• Family members, pets, and friends only have so long to live, and you’re wasting time you could be spending with them.

All of these feelings are totally valid, and it’s ok to feel guilty but what matters most is that you live for yourself and no one else. It is not selfish to put yourself first.

Have Some Routine In Your Day

Travelling or moving overseas will completely throw your usual routines and schedule out of whack. If you are also struggling with homesickness this can just make your anxiety worse.

So it will help you to try and get back into some form of routine as soon as you can. This can be as basic as going to bed and waking up at times that you’re used to, drinking your favourite coffee or eating your meals at regular times. Anything that you were used to doing before your travels will help you to bring some normality and structure back to your life.

Make Your House A Home

Whether you are in temporary accommodations or somewhere more permanent, you need to make yourself as comfortable as you can. One of the simplest ways to do this is just to find a place for everything you own — so no living out of a suitcase literally. Having all of your things in their own places will really help you to feel at home and less likely to feel homesick.

It may seem like a laborious task or something that won’t make a big difference, but it’s one of the best ways to any new place feel like a home, especially if it is a permanent one. Investing in shelves, cupboards or any kind of storage to put your stuff in will be well worth the time and expense.

Decorate Your Space

Personally, I have found that this was one of the most effective ways to feel at home abroad and it has always helped me to minimize my homesickness. Once I started making my new apartment in Vancouver cosy and comfy, and put my stamp on it, I began to get settled in.

Here are a few suggestions of ways that you can decorate without spending lots of money:

Put Pictures Out Around Your New Home

• Display pictures of friends and family to remind you that there are people who care about you back home, even when they can’t be with you at this moment. If they’ve given you a picture to hang on the wall or put on a shelf, that’s even better!
• Display pictures that show where you came from (or where you’d like to return). If you miss your hometown or plan to return there one day, they can be helpful reminders throughout your time abroad.

Put Favourite Items From Your Old Home Into Your New Home

I brought quite a lot of items from my old home with me when I moved abroad. I put some small items in my suitcase so that I had things to help me settle in from day 1, and the remainder in the shipping containers of my belongings which took a few weeks to arrive.

Use Your Own Furniture

This is a natural way to make your home feel like you’re in familiar territory, even if you’re in an unfamiliar place. The comfort of your own bed and the familiarity of your kitchen can help ease the stress of moving abroad.

However it’s not very economical or practical to move furniture overseas, but you can get a similar effect by bringing things like your favourite bedding, blankets, and cushions with you in vacuum bags. May sound silly but having my bedding, blankets and cushions with me on days when I was low really helped me to feel more comfortable in my strange new surroundings.

Practise Self Care Every Day

Take time for yourself. You might feel like you don’t have the luxury of self-care when you’re living in a new country, but it’s important to remember that your well-being is essential for your ability to adapt and thrive abroad.

There are lots of easy ways to practice self-care when you are abroad or travelling.

Meditate, exercise and eat healthy food (obviously). And if there’s something specific about the local culture that interests you — whether it be a meditation class or an art museum — try doing some research on it so that when the time comes, you’ll already be familiar with its benefits and how best to enjoy them.

Mix the old with the new

In addition to getting back into your routine, it’s also helpful to introduce a few new things to it, as well. Your routine might be slightly off if the new place, so rather than feeling sad about what has had to change, embrace the opportunity to incorporate some fresh things into your daily life. Being proactive and purposely adding new elements to your routine inspired by your new community will help you feel in control, as well as excited.

Get Out & Explore Your New Surroundings

If you are just on vacation, exploring your new surroundings is a given, but if you’re making a more permanent move somewhere it’s easy to get caught up in your day-to-day and forget to actually enjoy your new environment. No matter how much you need to do to establish yourself successfully in your new home, be sure to take some time every day to explore and appreciate the local culture.

Set yourself a goal to try and do something new each day and make the most of your new environment, even if some days you are just checking out a local coffee shop or a different grocery store. From experience, it can really help you to feel less homesick and more excited about the new adventures you are embarking on.

A brand-new neighbourhood can feel daunting at first, but instead of focusing on how unfamiliar it all is, take control and start exploring. Look at it as an adventure. Play tourist at first to see all the main attractions, then start digging deeper to get to know it as a local. Try new restaurants, check out the museums and art galleries, go see a show at the theatre, and check out some local small businesses. There are all kinds of interesting things to discover in a new community.

Create A Bucket List

Write down all of the things that you really want to do while you are abroad — and make a separate list for every country, city and/or your new home. Then whenever you are feeling down about being away from home, refer back to the list and remind yourself of all the exciting fun activities you have ahead of you!

If some of the things on your bucket list require some planning that’s even better as you can distract yourself from your sadness by setting dates and booking things.

When I moved to Vancouver, I made a list of local tourist attractions, day trips and other experiences that I wanted to have. It kept me motivated on tough days as I used the activities on the list as incentives for pushing through and getting tasks done.

It also just balanced out the endless hours I spent searching for an apartment and a job in my first few weeks. Having fun experiences reminded me why I’d moved abroad, and the quality of life I wanted to create for myself.

See The Beauty In Your Environment

No matter what is going on for you, remember to take moments of quiet to just look around you and take in your surroundings. What do you smell, hear, feel, and see? Is it exactly what you imagined it would be when you were planning your trip?

What’s beautiful about your environment right now? You may never get to be here again, and you won’t have this exact same moment again.

So take pictures, draw, write, whatever will help you to savour the moments. Just be present as much as you can.

Avoid Excessive Contact With Your Friends & Family

It’s all too easy to get caught up in the excitement of moving abroad and not realize that you’re going through a major life transition. And while it may be tempting to want to share all of your new experiences with everyone back home, sometimes it’s better to avoid excessive contact with family and friends at home.

It will be hard for your loved ones back home who are still living their lives the same way back home to relate to what you are experiencing. Also, if anyone you love goes through a major life change like losing their job, breaking up with someone or graduating, it will probably be hard for them to hear you going on and on about your new adventures.

After all, you don’t want them to feel jealous or left out during an important moment in their own lives.

Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Travelling is a perfect time to push yourself out of your comfort zone and do things you wouldn’t ordinarily do. Whether it’s an adventurous activity, or going out to dinner alone, push yourself to do things that are uncomfortable.

You only live once, and you will be so proud of yourself afterwards for pushing through any fears you have. It also does wonders for your confidence to do something you are scared of doing.

Plus it will give you fond memories to look back on whenever you are feeling low. Might even inspire you to do other things that you’re unsure of doing.

Make New Friends

One of the fastest ways to settle into a new environment, and enjoy your experiences is to meet people and make new friends. It can be really intimidating to put yourself out there, and networking is not always fun but you will thank yourself for doing it when you have made new friends.

There are a few ways to meet people like ex-pat groups on social media, forums and local events. In my case, I used a mix of ex-pat groups, and professional events to start making friends. I also went to a lot of local events to try and meet people with similar interests which had mixed results.

If it’s something you find really difficult, or frankly daunting, I’ve shared a few ways that you can make new friends when you move abroad on the blog. But ultimately the most important thing is that you put yourself out there, by finding ways to be sociable and meet people.

Use Social Media Sparingly

Technology, while working as an ex-pat abroad, can be your best friend or worst enemy when it comes to settling in. It is a brilliant way to stay in touch with family and friends at home on a regular basis, but social media can make you feel more aware of what you are ‘missing out on’ too.

Nights out, birthdays and family reunions can be hard to watch from a distance, especially when photos pop up on Facebook of ‘all the crew’ and you’re noticeably absent.

Just remember that social media is a highlights reel of life and you may not be missing out on as much as you think.

Similarly, try not to go too overboard with updates of your amazing new life abroad as it may make it hard for family and friends to understand when you express feelings of homesickness.

Look For Familiar Things

In my humble opinion, one of the best things about travelling is learning about how people are both similar and different around the world.

No matter where you go in the world you will always be able to find something familiar about where you are.

Here are a few ideas of things you could do to embrace the familiar:

1. Wear your favourite outfit that you brought from home.
2. Find foods from back home in a restaurant or store.
3. Listen to your favourite music.
4. Watch a TV show or movie that you love.
5. Read a book that you brought from home.
6. Enjoy smells from home with a candle or your favourite perfume that brings back fond memories.
7. Wear a piece of jewellery or sentimental item that reminds you of home or someone you love.

Get Involved In The Local Community

If you are feeling really alone and disconnected, getting involved in your new community will help you to embrace your new environment. So don’t hesitate to sign up for local activities and organizations. It will connect you with local people while keeping you busy and distracted from feeling homesick.

Send Postcards Back Home

• Send postcards back home to friends and family.
• Send postcards back home to remind you of your home, your friends and family, and your culture.
• Send postcards back home to remind you of your language.

Plan Trips To Your Home Country

If you can, plan a trip home as soon as you’re settled in. It will help keep your mind occupied and give you something to look forward to. But if that’s not possible, don’t wait too long or else the thought of going back will become overwhelming and stress-inducing.

22 Quotes About Missing Home

If you’re feeling homesick, these are some of my favourite homesickness quotes that might help you feel better.

1. “How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” — Winnie the Pooh
2. “There’s no shame in feeling homesick. It means you come from a happy home.” — Mrs Hughes (Downton Abbey)
3. “There is no place more delightful than one’s own fireplace.” — Cicero
4. “Homesickness is not always a vague, nostalgic, almost beautiful emotion, although that is somehow the way we always seem to picture it in our mind. It can be a terribly keen blade…It can change the way one looks at the world.” — Stephen King (The Body)
5. “The ache for home lives in all of us. The place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.” — Maya Angel
6. “One never reaches home, but wherever friendly paths intersect the whole world looks like home for a time.” — Hermann Hesse
7. “Home is where our story begins.” — A. N. Onymous
8. “Homesickness: when you miss where you’re from and then realize that’s what makes it special, to begin with”
9. “If you’ve ever been homesick or felt exiled from all the things and people that once defined you, you’ll know how important welcoming words and friendly smiles can be.” — Stephen King
10. “When you feel homesick,’ he said, ‘just look up. Because the moon is the same wherever you go.” — Donna Tartt (The Goldfinch
11. “Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colours. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.” — Terry Pratchett (A Hat Full of Sky)
12. “Home is a place you grow up wanting to leave, and grow old wanting to get back to.” — John Ed Pearce
13. “Home is wherever you leave everything you love and never question that it will be there when you return.” — Leo Christopher
14. “The magic thing about home is that it feels good to leave, and it feels even better to come back.” — Wendy Wunder
15. “Maybe home is nothing but two arms holding you tight when you’re at your worst.” — Yara Bashrahee
16. “I suspected, however, that I wasn’t homesick for anything I would find at home when I returned. The longing was for what I wouldn’t find: the past and all the people and places there were lost to me.” — Alice Steinbach
17. “Still round the corner, there may wait, a new road or a secret gate.” — J.R.R. Tolkien
18. “We are torn between nostalgia for the familiar and an urge for the foreign and strange. As often as not, we are homesick most for the places we have never known.” — Carson McCullen
19. “Every traveller has a home of his own, and he learns to appreciate it the more from his wandering.” — Charles Dickens
20. “I am homesick for a place I am not sure even exists. One where my heart is full. My body loved. And my soul understood.” — Melissa Co
21. “Maybe you had to leave in order to really miss a place; maybe you had to travel to figure out how beloved your starting point was.” — Jodi Picoult
22. “Life takes you to unexpected places. Love brings you home.” — A. N. Onymous

Final Thoughts On Overcoming Homesickness

If you take anything from this I hope that it brings you some comfort that homesickness is totally normal, but don’t let it stop you from making the most of your travels. It will take time to adjust to new surroundings, but the more you immerse yourself in activities, and cultures, the less homesick you will feel.

The good thing is that homesickness is usually temporary, and there are lots of things that you can do to overcome these feelings. The most important thing to do is just to acknowledge your feelings so that you can work through them more quicker.

In time, feeling homesick will be a thing of the past, it just takes time, patience and self-love.